Animal Scientists Judge Human Intelligence – An Animated Comedy

Animal Scientists Judge Human Intelligence – An Animated Comedy


We’re standing by today to hear the
International Association of Animal Scientists’ dramatic findings on
human intelligence. I’m told they will be starting now. Good afternoon, ladies and
gentlemen and thank you for joining us today to discuss our findings
regarding human intelligence. We
begin today with Doctor Mantis
Shrimp’s vision tests. Doctor? Yes, thank you. The aim of our
testing was to ascertain the human’s capacity to understand this
sign. As you can all plainly see, we used
some ultraviolet paint to indicate that food was located behind this
sign. [Dr. Nutcracker] Yes [Dr. Honeybee] It’s beautiful, if a little
obvious Quite. As you can see from our
video, however, the human took no interest. As you can see in the video I come
out in an attempt to direct the poor simple creature’s attention to
the sign. Alas, I may have botched
the experiment because the human took no notice to the sign and
instead fixated on me. It also did
a peculiar thing where the creature kept surfacing. No doubt because of
a short attention span but further study is required. [Dr. Honeybee] Hmmm… interesting stuff. My team and I attempted to guage
the human’s capacity for memory. As
you are all surely aware, my compatriots and I can recall the
location of 33,000 food caches. In our
study we observed this peculiar behavior. Can’t…find… them…right
here? Ugh! Honey, have you
seen my keys? [Offscreen person] Did you check the coffee
table? YES! That’s where I started! As you can see the human can’t find
even one object on which they have placed a lot of importance. We then
observed this further perplexing behavior: OH MY GOSH! They were in my pocket the whole
time! Now where did I put the phone? This is not a good sign for human
memory. It’s a wonder how they ever
survived at all! Yes. And much in the same vein as
the both of you testing human intelligence as it relates to
finding and keeping food, I attempted to communicate with a
human. [Dr. Mantis Shrimp] (exasperated) Good luck… [Dr. Nutcracker] Oh, my! Well show us your findings! Gladly, if you will refer to the
video Oh, hello mr. bee. Don’t worry, I
wont get too close. Do you need
water? Now that I was certain that I had
their attention I began to attempt communication. I used a basic
thorax waggle dance to direct the human towards nectar rich flowers
directly behind them. Oh, buddy. You’re going around in
circles. Here you go! Drink up! As you can see, the human mistook
this for the ‘direct me to water’ dance. frustrated, I began more
exaggerated butt waggles Oh no! Are you okay? Growing more frustrated I called a
small swarm to try to guide the human to the flowers. We had…
mixed results. AHHHH! STAY AWAY!!! I’M ALLERGIC TO
BEES! We believed, momentarily, that we
had some success… But that was short lived. Thank you doctor. Well, all this is
very telling stuff. I think we can
safely come to the conclusion that humans are unintelligent creatures
in need of our hel-! [Zookeeper] What are you guys doing out? [Dr. Nutcracker] The Zookeeper! UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT YOU BRUTE! [Zookeeper] You must be so hungry and scared. Let’s get you home. [Dr. Nutcracker] THE INTERNATIONAL SCIENCE
COMMUNITY WILL HEAR OF THIS!… Oh… well… Where did I leave those seeds? Thanks to John Wallace, who wrote the amazing
screenplay for this animation. He’s a UCB-trained comedy writer and he was
great to work with! You should DEFINITELY hire him to write for
you! His contact information is in the description. If you laughed today, you should subscribe. Or watch some other fun videos on this channel.

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