YOU vs Half-Life’s Gordon Freeman (Could You Defeat And Survive Him)

YOU vs Half-Life’s Gordon Freeman (Could You Defeat And Survive Him)

It’s another wonderful day in City 17, or
at least you think it is. Truth is ever since you started drinking Dr.
Breen’s Private Reserve, you really can’t remember if you’ve ever had a bad day before
in your life. Then again, you can’t remember much about
your old life anyways because just like any career-focused Combine Civil Protection Force
member, you opted in for the memory erasure in order to ensure fast promotion. Who needs personal memories when you’re raking
in all that sweet, sweet mullah! Besides, you think you like your life much
better now. At least it’s quieter, and you seem to vaguely
recall something about evil spirits, possessed girlfriends, and throwing said girlfriends
off cliffs or out windows. Oh well, new alien overlords, new you. As you watch from your post on City 17’s train
station, the latest citizen transfer train rolls in. Oh boy, you sigh to yourself, more goobers
from other cities come to see the glory that is The Citadel. Well, you resolve to rough up a few of them,
wether they have authorized transfer tickets or not. A civil protection force officer who beats,
is a civil protection force officer who cares. You watch the citizens exiting their train
cars and can’t help but overhear one of them as he looks over his shoulder at another citizen
and says, “Hey, I didn’t see you board… that’s strange.” Strange indeed- could this be a stowaway? Impossible, no human could survive the harsh
conditions outside of the Cities. You decided you’d better check it out and
make your way over. The mystery man looks… well, rather unassuming. Kind of like a nerdish book type really. He’s got a goatee and thick black glasses-
ha, goatees are so pre-seven hour war. What a total nerd. As you approach him you knock over an empty
aluminum can and instruct this stranger to pick it up. It’s so pathetic the way citizens always do,
terror that you might shoot them in the face if they disobey in their eyes… because of
course, you might actually shoot them in the face. That reminds you, you have to check in later
with your supervisors on exactly how many humans you’re allowed to kill now… with
the suppression field up nobody’s had a kid in decades, and well, much like the rest of
earth’s resources, humanity is becoming a rapidly diminishing resource. This citizen though looks down at the can
and, well, you can’t believe it, he hesitates! There’s something in his eyes, something…
defiant. It’s almost like he hasn’t lived the last
twenty years in an oppressive police state overseen by alien rulers from another dimension. You go to teach this citizen a lesson when
suddenly one of your fellow officers steps in, informs you that this one is wanted for
questioning. You offer your services, nothing makes a day
better than some random beatings, but the officer declines, says he can handle it himself. You watch this goateed stranger walk away
and shrug your shoulders, now he’s somebody else’s problem. You’ve got enough on your plate already with
random beatings, the occasional shooting, and of course, avoiding being transferred
off world. You shudder at the thought, death is a better
fate than being sent to one of the Combine’s other worlds. A while later, what seems like a half-life
to you, there’s alarms and your supervisor screaming in your ear. This goateed man has escaped, and whoever
he is, he is very high priority target- you mutter a curse and start booking it, thinking
about the hell the poor sucker who let him get away is going to be stationed at when
this is all over. So you decided to join the Combine’s Transhuman
military and gave up your liberty to become a brutal thug for an interdimensional empire,
and now Gordon Freeman has shown up to absolutely ruin your day. How in the world are you going to fight, and
defeat, the most dangerous man in any dimension? Dr. Gordon Freeman is an MIT trained theoretical
physicist, whose expertise is pressing buttons and pulling levers. That of course is when he’s not busy kicking
alien ass all over two different dimensions. Freeman was originally assigned to the Black
Mesa research facility, where a resonance cascade during a teleportation experiment
ended up accidentally opening up a portal to the alien world of Xen. The incident prompted a military invasion
of the Black Mesa facility in order to contain and clean up the threat posed by the alien
creatures. Ever resourceful, Freeman was forced to fight
for his life against both interdimensional aliens and human military forces. Despite having no weapons experience, Freeman
quickly developed a proficiency in small arms, becoming a crack shot with multiple weapons. However, his expertise extended into even
heavy weapons such as shoulder-fired anti-armor weapons and explosives. Basically, an alien invasion forced Morgan
Freeman to become a nerd Rambo. Upon Freeman’s return to earth thanks to the
intervention of the mysterious G’Man, he’s come home to discover a world that has been
overrun and is now ruled by aliens from another dimension. Needless to say, Freeman is more than a little
pissed, and along with his trusty crowbar he’s aiming to turn this alien invasion around
and set the people of earth free. For you though this means you’ll be out of
a job, and though you can’t quite remember your past, you know for a fact that you don’t
want to go back to what you think was a life of battling evil demons and spirits who possess
your girlfriends and force you to yeet them out open windows. This ‘free-man’ must be stopped, and besides
you’ve invested so much into the Combine’s 401k plan already. Taking down Freeman is not going to be an
easy task, most notably because every time that you and your fellow Combine soldiers
get close to doing so, he seems to have a number of lucky interventions. Even when trapped in a certain death scenario,
Freeman’s own personal guardian angel, the enigmatic G’man, seems to swoop in at the
nick of time and teleport him away. How in the world are you going to fight that?! Well, you could try and use Combine technology,
but despite being an extremely advanced alien race, the Combine are actually pretty terrible
at teleporting, and can’t even teleport between two places in the same universe. They can only move between universes. Then of course there’s that pesky D-O-G machine
that keeps swooping in to save Gordon. A giant quadruped robot, the thing may have
been built out of trash but man can it take a beating. You’ve personally watched Freeman blow countless
gunships out of the sky, and yet even your heavy weapons don’t seem to do much but occasionally
slow down DOG. Honestly, you’re starting to wonder why the
Combine doesn’t just copy the design, and why in the world is some young human engineer
working with literal trash doing a better job of building murder machines than the intergalactic
alien empire?! Screw it, you’ll just jump into the fray and
overwhelm Freeman with numbers. After all, there’s literally millions of your
fellow Combine soldiers, and countless other soldiers can be teleported in from other Combine
worlds if you really need them. And there’s what, like 60 human rebels left? This will be a walk in the park, and you and
your fellow evil alien overlord transhuman cops chuckle to yourselves as you ride an
APC to the battle. Except as soon as you exit the vehicle one
of your buddies gets immediately gunned down. You rush for a covering position and watch
as another squad member drops. Roaring in anger, you pop up from behind your
cover and open fire on Freeman, but watch as the bullets literally ping off his armor. Meanwhile, like three shots from his rifle
drops yet another one of your buddies. You are seriously starting to have second
thoughts about this whole Combine business. Why in the world is the scruffy human resistance
able to build better armor for its soldiers than the freaking intergalactic alien empire?! What, did the Combine also invade the Star
Wars universe and get the guy who makes Storm Trooper armor to design its military force’s
armor?! Well, screw it, you’re not going to sit here
and get turned to swiss cheese for an evil alien empire that can’t even build better
body armor than some pathetic human resistance members. Or make better war robots than some girl can
manage to do with a pile of junkyard trash. You throw your rifle down and surrender, because
clearly there’s no beating Gordon Freeman in this dimension- and even if you did, well,
you can’t beat his G’man guardian angel and neither can your alien overlords. Hey, you might have failed to take down the
legendary Gordon Freeman, but maybe you want to know how to take down the evil Freddy Fazbear
instead- click on this video here. Or perhaps you’d enjoy this other video instead! Either way, click one now, because unlike
Valve, we won’t make you wait twenty years for a sequel!

100 thoughts on “YOU vs Half-Life’s Gordon Freeman (Could You Defeat And Survive Him)”

  1. how to beat gordon freeman
    step 1. find microwave
    step 2. wire a trash compactor to it
    step 3. remove the crates from the trash compactor
    step 4. put casserole in microwave


  2. Gordon Freeman has the power to over heat food in the break room microwave what chance do you think you possibly have??

  3. "The Right Man in the Wrong Place can make all the Difference in the World". This video brings back so many memories.

  4. 5:30 The combine do have teleportation tech for moving around Earth, an example is at the end of the Nova Prospeckt chapter. Also the combine's transhuman arm is the heavily armed soldiers in dark suits, masks, and body armor. The guys you're showing are civil protection.

  5. Gordon Freeman the most badass game character of all time, the man who invaded an entire planet on his own and killed every being that dared to face him.

  6. Infographics, can you please do the following match ups:
    1. Agent 47 versus John Wick
    2. You versus Artyom Chyornyj (The metro books and games)

  7. Freeman is wearing the state of the art pre occupation HEV Mark IV Hazard suit developed by Black Mesa to specifically fight aliens (Zen) and survive extreme hostile environments, so no, it is not made out of junk and I dont recall anyone else in half life 2 resistance wearing them.

  8. Why did you why are you calling many things that weren’t even in the game in dog was not built out of junk he just looks that way because I want your vans upgraded him on our spare parts

  9. I’m pretty I’m pretty sure you’re not actually nothing you are saying exactly Canon in the story no honestly nothing you were saying it’s

  10. Alex did not make a dog that was those outfits that Eli Vance do your best for the dog Alex keep your mouth

  11. The problem is that Civil Protection never checks the trains, so you got the lore quite a little bit wrong there. What they do, however, is raid apartments. So you could've implemented an apartment scene instead of the Trainstation.

  12. Who would win?
    An empire who has taken over worlds with brute force and has trained soldiers in the millions
    Some guy who's mute and has a crowbar

  13. I mean, once I get him to critical status he will just do backwards speed gain glitch (Idk what its called

  14. Its not a teleportation experiment.. it was a spectrometer and a highly unstable but highly pure (therefore tempting) xen crystal. Also why is Gordon's lips like that?

  15. Hang on, i thought Gordon DOES know how to use firearms. I read somewhere that he did a hazard course before HL, which involved firearms training.

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